“I am now more resilient against the never-ending criticism of the outside world, because I have a best friend in the mirror, and she helps me through those hard times.”
– Vironika Tugaleva, Life Coach, Digital Nomad, and award-winning author of The Love Mindset and The Art of Talking to Yourself
Many of us spend our entire lives living behind the veneer of pretensions—both physical and mental—and hiding our real selves from the world. The results could be serious mental health issues, as Vironika Tugaleva found out when she seriously contemplated suicide. To her credit, however, Vironika pulled herself out of the rabbit hole and reclaimed her life.
Fighting Herself Everyday
Vironika always struggled with how she perceived herself. It began when her family moved from Ukraine to Toronto when she was just 8-years old. She felt out of place and struggled with issues such as identity, anxiety, and self-acceptance. As she grew older, emotions continued to confuse and conflict her.
To find some solace, Vironika turned to writing poetry and lyrics. Before long, she resorted to drugs, suffered from insomnia, and ended up exhausted from her mental illness. The internal turmoil continued, as she describes, “I was always hiding who I was. I hid behind make up, hair dye, and big words. I hid behind my story painting me as a bulletproof warrior rather than the sensitive, excitable girl I was.” Her mental health deteriorated even further. “Completely lost, I had no idea how to climb out of the hole of perfectionism, anxiety, and self hatred,” she elaborates. Vironika had to decide between death and life; she chose the latter.
The Courage to Start Over
Vironika eventually realized the power to turn around her life was within her. “When I decided to stay on this planet, I became determined to live a new life,” she shares. This meant shedding all those layers of her inauthentic self and let her inner self shine forth. She stopped dyeing her hair, wearing makeup, and dieting. She no longer hid her emotions and past traumas.
This decisiveness and self-awareness led to her improved mental health and a better relationship with herself. She became honest about her experiences. None of these choices were easy. “It was terrifying. I felt so much fear and self-doubt, but I kept coming back for more. I kept writing, kept sharing, kept baring more of my humanity,” she describes. These insights and experiences shaped her first book, The Love Mindset, which received the Readers’ Favorite silver medal for Best Self-Help book of 2013.
Discovering a New Purpose
Vironika got in touch with people who went through the same issues as her and were inspired by her writing. She realized sharing her honest experiences is helping other people open up and share their stories. The courage to step forward and be honest showed her that vulnerability actually makes one braver. “By letting myself be the sensitive, excitable girl I am, I’ve become more bulletproof.”
Vironika’ gritty journey inspires us to never give up on life and shun all the facades and pretensions, no matter how difficult the journey seems.
