“I felt if sharing my story helped one woman realize she was not alone or inspired her to get out of an abusive relationship – it was worth going public.”
– Shanon Lee, Writer, Journalist, Host & Survivor Activist
Rape is something very traumatizing for any woman, not just physically but emotionally as well. Shanon Lee went through a troubled marriage and marital rape. She did not, however, let this incident define her self-worth. Instead, she went public with her ordeal in order to inspire other women to not suffer in silence and come out of the trauma.
Breaking Away from a Toxic Marriage
Shanon and her husband were experiencing marital trouble for a few months. They thought visiting Virginia to see their families might help salvage their marriage. While she was trying to save money for the trip, her husband was acting weird by spending recklessly. He was in Air Force and would often get high during after-office hours.
During the trip to see family, there was no end to his unstable and repugnant behavior. The heinous act took place during this trip. Intoxicated and completely out of control, he came home late at night and forced himself upon her who was asleep. Shanon repulsed but he got violent, and she had no choice but to lay still and go through with the ordeal. “I did not yell, remaining silent out of respect for his mother. I was not going to call the police to her home,” she elaborates.
Afterward, Shanon told him their marriage was over. She returned to California and filed for divorce. However, things got worse. He tried contesting the divorce and even threatened her by holding a knife to her throat; he even beat her. It took a year of constantly living in fear before Shanon was finally granted divorce.
Becoming a Voice for Survivors
Her husband resurfaced ten years after the incident. He began harassing Shanon over the Internet. She decided to go public about the unfortunate incident and the continued harassment. “This happens to survivors often and is another way we are traumatized again,” she shares. The result was an essay that inspired many other women to come to terms with their own trauma.
The essay opened many doors for Shanon, allowing her to write about social, cultural, and political issues in publications such as ELLE, Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, and Good Housekeeping. Her stories were also translated into a short film, Marital Rape is Real, which she produced, wrote, and directed. She also holds writing workshops for survivors of sexual assault, where she teaches trauma survivors the healing benefits of writing and how it can be used for advocacy.
