Tesha Dames-Smith’s Story of Repentance from Unfaithfulness

“The challenge forced me to look in the mirror. I recognized and put an end to the cycle of trying to fill my broken places with relationships.”

– Tesha Dames-Smith, President/Founder of Klass Act Mentoring Program

Tesha found the love of her life, her true soul-mate… but it wasn’t her husband. It was another man. She told her husband that she was leaving him. Her husband refused to accept her resignation from the marriage.

What would you have done if you were in this situation? Tabloids are littered with celebrity couples calling it quits. In this day and age of convenience, love is only a good as last night. Everything and everyone is disposable. Matter of fact, in a recent study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, the Swansea University UK researchers concluded that people tend to prefer short-term relationships over longer ones, in particular, the rich. So the easier thing for Tesha and her husband would have been to call it quits.

Tesha’s husband chose to strive instead. As a man of faith in Jesus Christ, he was not about to give up so quickly. Instead of turning to his fist, he channeled his anger and pleads to God through fervent prayer.

While her husband battled to save the relationship, Tesha had a different plan. She tried desperately to find new work that would enable her to leave the marriage and relocate away from her husband. But this was not in her cards. Time and time again, her man-made plans failed her. She stubbornly held onto her desire for happiness even if that meant tossing her sacred marriage vows out the door.

But there was something greater at work than her personal plan — God had another plan for Tesha. He brought Tesha to her knees. The greater the human pride, the greater the fall. Her plan began to unravel. No matter how hard she tried to run from the situation, the doors kept closing. After the final straw, fallen on both her knees, she recognized her sin. She called out to God for forgiveness. There she met God.

Her husband practiced forgiveness as written in Matthew 18:22, when asked how many times should we forgive others, Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (a reference to forgive perpetually forever). When most men, out of pride, would have left without hesitation, not he. Tesha’s husband was going to honor his marriage vows — “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part”. Everything about that was uncomfortable, unnatural and unpopular in today’s culture.

Tesha finally asked her husband for forgiveness. Her husband graciously accepted her forgiveness and embraced her. In the process, Tesha rededicated her life to God. More than ever, she recognized that she needed God in the center of her life. She was about to throw out all her idols, including her lover.

“When I severed ties with the other man, he said I was risking my chance at happiness. I took that risk because it was the right thing to do. Believing what God’s word said about me, my family, and my marriage is what helped me to overcome. I became obedient and stood on God’s promises.”

But a marriage reboot was far from easy. She said, “staying in the marriage proved uncomfortable because in anger I told my husband I didn’t love him. I felt like I didn’t. I had to remember what it was I loved about him in the first place — what brought us together. We took baby steps to rekindle the fire that was once there.” The road to wholeness in a marriage wasn’t smooth. It took intentionality on both their parts to chip away at the anger and hurt and to forgive daily. If you’ve ever walked knee deep in mud, you know that each step is arduous, progress is slow and one wrong move could land you face-first into the mud.

Here’s what Tesha says about this hard life lesson, “The challenge forced me to look in the mirror. I recognized and put an end to the cycle of trying to fill my broken places with relationships. The experience taught my husband and me to love and appreciate each other more, not to take anything for granted. We learned that true love gives and sacrifices. To others, I say marriage is redeemable, but at the expense of letting go of personal hurt. You must accept what was, acknowledge your faults, recommit to each other, and move past it together. True love conquers all!”

As readers, our job is not to judge but to recognize this story of forgiveness and reconciliation. Relationship is hard. Strive reminds us that in our lives we reap incredible success and wholeness when we choose to take the hard road, going way outside of our comfort zone to do what’s right, even if it’s unpopular, to take a stand and to risk it all.

Tesha is a Christian, wife, mother, educator, entrepreneur and mentor and she’s learning every day to walk one step at a time in God’s grace and forgiveness. Tesha is the President and Founder of Klass Act Mentoring Program, and a woman that embraces her Bahamian heritage.